Let's Choose -- But Let's Do It Together

When I had my first child, I quickly realized that my "choice" to work or not work was seriously constrained by economic and cultural forces that were well beyond my control.  Last week, a new census report confirmed what I and so many others learned the hard way:  women's "choices" to work or stay home with children are mostly driven by basic economics.  Not by sudden maternal longings, or surrender to some sort of innate female pull toward the home.

The new census report shows that one in four married women with children under 15 is a full-time mother. Stay-at-home mothers tend to be younger and less educated, with lower family incomes, than other mothers.  They are also more likely to be hispanic or foreign born.  And 12% of them live below the poverty line.

What does this new data tell us?

What this tells us is that, for the most part, it is the mothers with fewer choices, not more, who are staying home with children full-time.  Their "choices" are inevitably made within the economic constraints of low wages, expensive child care, and a lack of part-time alternatives. 

Writing about the census report in her blog last week, Judith Warner refreshingly laid the "choice myth" to rest:

These findings, drawn from a new report by the Census Bureau, really ought to lead us to reframe our public conversations about who mothers are and why they do what they do. It should lead us away from all the moralistic bombast about mothers’ “choices” and “priorities.” It should get us thinking less about choice, in fact, and make us focus more on contingencies — the objective conditions that drive women’s lives. And they should propel us to think about the choices that we as a society must make to guarantee that the best possible opportunities are available for all families.

YES.  We need to think about the choices we make as a society. 

So far, we have chosen:

• not to subsidize child care (which would help ensure quality, affordable child care for all kids)
• not to support the development of part-time work with equitable pay and benefits (which would significantly expand opportunities for stay-at-home parents)
• not to ensure living  wages (which would help make working "worth it" for the lowest wage-earners)
• not to provide stay-at-home parents with any financial supports, such as social security or health care (contributing to the high percentage of stay-at-home mothers and their families living in poverty, and relegating even more mothers to poverty in old age)
• not to madate any sort of paid family leave (which would help many low-income mothers stay connected to the workforce and reduce the incidence of poverty)

As Judith Warner says, "when women can choose, they choose empowerment".  It couldn't be put more perfectly.

So let's start talking about those choices we make as a society that will give mothers the chance to choose empowerment.

[Thanks to flickr & mighty moss for the pic]

Comments

[Slava Lenkov]

When a person takes drugs or drinks some alcohol, it messes with his or her whole body. You may not notice it at first but it may show on your kids. You see when you consume drugs or alcohol it can screw up your reproductive system. As a result you could get a child with some kind of disability which would make you wonder why God wanted your kids to be like that, but in reality it could be your fault. That's why it is important to be really healthy before you get pregnant and after.